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charlene: melody..HONEY!!!!!!!PLEASE TAKE IT ALITTLE EASIER ON UR SELF! ONLY UM CAN! I AM SOO SORRY I HAVEN'T VISISTED IN SO LONG BUT U SAID I HELPED U BEFORE! LET ME & OTHERS DO IT AGAIN! U DID NOT GET WHERE U R OVERNIGHT & WILL NOT GET TO UR DESTINATION OVERNIGHT BUT I ASSURE YOU, IT IS NOT GOD' WILL 4 U 2 SUFFER THIS WAY,IT IS FROM SATAN BECAUSE HE KNOWS GOD HAS A WONDERFUL PLAN 4 YOU!!!!!!! YOU R HERE TO BE USED BY GOD 2 REACH OTHERS! MY HAND IS ONLY A TOOL RIGHT NOW AND MOVING FAST..I'M NOT EVEN A TY
astaga.com lifestyle on the net: I really enjoyed read your article, thanks (hot lifestyle news & Trick Magic Illusions)
Astaga.com lifestyle on the net: Astaga.com lifestyle on the net is blogwalking here to say hello
LWM: My Dear one no one ever truly dies, they just move forward but they are awaiting us. Your journey is still in the making as is your grandmothers grab it, experience it and soon enough you will all be joined together again laughing, talking and huging once more. Bless you I am here for you always just an e mail away
LWM: by and read the new ALBs message if your interested . it may help to understand what the heck is going on around us all
mystic: always happy to see a familiar face stop over have a wonderful rest of the week
Kevin: Hi.. Your blog looks fantastic. I would really appreciate if you could exchange link with me...
DeviilsNeedLove2: Hope you're feeling better today.
DevilsNeedLove2: I actually just got you on there. Hee hee. I dunno but last time I logged in to my journal I was having all sorts of problems. I couldn't even make any new posts. But everything seems to be working fine now. Are you having problems sleeping, too?
DevilsNeedLove2: I tried adding you and it wouldn't let me, so I dunno what's going on. But I have you on my Myspace, so that's the most important. =)
DevilsNeedLove2: I'd love to be added to your friends list! Can I add you, too? You'll be my very first friend. =) I will check back in with you later and read your new blog. Right now I have to go get my work out in. Blarg! Take care.
DevilsNeedLove2: I've actually been trying to add a couple new posts the last two nights, but every time I try to make a new entry, it tells me the system failed to log me in. No idea what's going on. Boo. I promise to take a closer look at your blog in the next few days. Been busy. Thanks for stopping by again!
DevilsNeedLove2: Hey, thanks for stopping by my journal. I'm glad you liked what you found there. =)
Valerie: Hi there. I'm making a depression newsletter and I wondered if I might use excerpts from your blog or if you would care to share a story. Visit my link for more info. No obligation. I hope most of all that you feel better soon. Peace.
Renee: Hey hun I finally updated. Am thinking of you and missing you. I hope that you find some time to smile and know that you are loved.
Cat: Hey. It has been a very long time. E-mail me or something.
Junelle: Hi there! care to exchange links?
Bits & Pieces: tnx for the visit...ok let me know if u add me already, ok?
Bits & Pieces: hello...care to exchange link? if so let me know so I can add your link to my blog...tnx
LWM: Just dropping by to see how you are doing and maybe let you know you are missed here by many of us
Irish Blessing: Happy New Year! I thought you needed to be reminded how much you are loved, and how special you are to God....click on the link, to hear the Irish blessing.
Angel: Happy New Year! Extending my deepest sympathy in the passing of your mother.
LWM: Happy Winter Solstice, Drop by when you can
herbert: hello from germany, visit and comment my site, please
LWM: Just peering into your world to see how you are. Stop by sometime
Marcus: I'm glad to hear your doing well, even with the shitty start. Waking up with someone you love is an enormous plus in my book. good luck with everything.
LWM: Happy Halloween to you from this ol witch herself Come see the beggar that came to my door when you get a chance.
Renee: Hey hun ~ I closed my Passionate Poet account and this is my new one! Just wanted you to add this link! Thinking of you and missing you!
LWM: Out for my weekly blog drive thought I’d drop by your place and say Hi. Come see a our family member to be when you get a chance.
Renee: Thinking of you ~ maybe you could send me your email and we could try it that way. Updated a small amount. Am missing you and hope that you are smiling. I love you xoxoxox
LWM: Stopping by to say Hi Come visit me when you can
Renee: The email is linked on my name ~ maybe I sent it wrong knowing me lol ~ try this again ~ lillycreations@gmail.com ~ I love you so much.
Renee: Hey hun ~ didnt get the email ~ try again and i will check and make sure it wont go to spam ~ thanks sweetie and i love you xoxoxox
LWM: Wishing u a GREAT Weekend with lots of Love and Light Drop by sometime
Renee: hun i need you to email me when you can ~ i love you lillycreations@gmail.com
Lady Wolfen Mists:
Renee: Updated hunny and hope that you are smiling and well ~ I love you very much.
sparkle: Hello, hope you are having a good weekend
Kerri: Hi I was just journal surfing and thought I would say Hi
Lady Wolfen Mists: Hi, Its me sending you hugs and wishing you a wonderful week, month, year and life for that matter. Stop by my place if you get a chance and read about spirits in the house as well as the latest angel messages I have gotten
Renee: Am missing you my sweet and hope that you are doing okay and smiling. I love you very very much.
Elyse: Havent seen a post from you in a bit...Hope all is well.....
sparkle: have a great week ahead
ageless: just dropping by
Angel: Mel, I'm sorry. I miss you and wish I could talk to ou. but not now. Not now. I love you, so don't forget that!
Abraham's: Hey an interesting blog.Keep the work going..
Cat: Hey,I noticed you tag on my blog. Sorry it took me so long to respond, I haven't been all that motivated lately. Well, I hope that htings our going ok over there. Talk to you later.
Renee: Hey hun! Am enjoying the New Moon and was flooded with creativity so I updated! Hope that you are doing well and know that I am thinking of you!
Josh Nay (Jay Roberts): Hmm...I love the colors of your journal. Just thought I'd stop by and say hello to you. So...helllo!
ageless: thanks. and yes, "do or do not there is no try" is one of my favorites. yoda rocks. may the force be with you.
Tianta: hey, thanks for the nice tag comment!!

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Sunday, December 27th 2009

9:37 PM (76 days, 15h, 29min ago)

beneath the mask...

  • Mood:
  • Sound: the hum of the computer...need a new one...
  • Quote: You wear a mask for so long, you forget who you were beneath it.~V~

My head is pounding right now. It feels as though there is this person sitting inside of my head with a hammer and just pounding on everything inside they can reach...the funny thing is...someone inside probably is pissy and doing that...

I have so much static going on inside lately. There are so many things going on. I mean...I finally get on an even kill in my relationship with my angel (we hit a rough patch about a year ago I guess...but since have gotten through it) and everything else seems to fall apart...I think it is impossible for everyone to get along all the time...but sheesh, does everyone have to bicker all the time in the absence of getting along...can't people just coexist when they don't want to get along... let's just say I am not thrilled with life right now...for many reasons...

I am taking off for the winter semester in school because I just cannot handle things...I do my school work (a full load) on top of doing atleast half of the work load for two other people...no it isn't right...but I look at everything they have to do and I think "oh I just want to help" but then it never ends at "sure i'll help you out this time"...it always continues...I don't know...I think I am sometimes just as much a pushover here as I was in the past...but then I see other times where I am so much more assertive...at least with certain aspects of my life...I mean...that is progress right...??? I don't know any more...

So we are having to move...yeah...horrible...well I mean...not terribly horrible...just a major inconvenience...it had to come right now at a very inopportune time...it is going to be tough on the kids too because they are so zoned in on routines...this is a big routine disturbance...let me tell ya...

You know, I have no clue why I am even writing...I am just rambling on about absolutely nothing...I mean for crying out loud...I wear a mask in reality 90% of the time...I can't even seem to get rid of the damn thing in my own writing space...my journal...damn it all...I wish I could just send all the masks to hell and be real all the time...but then...what if that didn't work out and it just made things worse...so much of this world responds so much better to freaken masked people walking around pretending to be real but really just hiding their true selves...I don't know what I am saying...it is all jibberish and of no importance...nevermind me...goodnight...

0 WHISPER.

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