Sometimes I wish I could detach my head and send it in to something like the geeksquad for computers. Just send it in, sign your slip, and then have it returned to you in 5 to 7 business days in fine working order...I am off all of my meds...money is too tight, and I don't have insurance right now and what my doctors have prescribed (without insurance) will cost close to if not over 2,000 a month...I can't afford that...that is more than my rent...and I live in a fairly nice house...

I am so tired. I feel like I get nothing accomplished in a day yet get more and more tired, more and more exhausted...and not always in the physical...sometimes I may be physically awake but just mentally incapable of rational, comprehensible thought...so much goes on in a day...so many troubles...so many trials right now...I look back and I know I have been through really hard times in the past...I look back and know that those in my family have been through very rough patches in life...and I think, this should be nothing...we should be able to take this all as a grain of sand...but in the here and now...it just doesn't seem to work that way...

It is 11:15 at night...my alarm goes off at 2:00 a.m. I just washed up the dishes, and I need to put a little bit of this laundry away (really need to put all of it away)...*sigh*...I want to disappear again...I was starting to look up and do good for a little bit...not long, but it was a start and better than nothing...and then it was like the world came crashing down again...saying, "yeah right bitch, don't even get your hopes up..."

On a good note before I sign off tonight...My grandmother is still coming in June to visit major happy about that...but now my sister is getting to come too...I can't believe it but I actually miss (really really miss) my little sister...and of course I miss my meemaw...she is so precious...I love her tons and miss her more...

Anyway...

Until next time...stay safe, stay sweet...